What's there to like?

Recently, I've been unliking - no matter how puny, silly or outright funny their name is - all the pages that post shitty pictures, videos or links to dubious sources on Facebook.

Most of these posts are sexist, racist or oppressive in some way. Even when the name of the page is as innocuous as "Mike Wazowski". 

Why is a page that is supposed to show to the world that I like a character from an animated movie posting degrading pictures? And, more importantly, why does Facebook allow it?

Facebook has certain Community Standards that are somewhat ambiguous and definitely not respected by many users. When a user posts something that is distasteful or offensive, other users can report it to Facebook, who will review the content following their own regulations and either deleted or leave it. 

Over the past few years and up until recently, several news outlets have been pointing out at their reproachable choices of action. For instance,  Facebook has been under a lot of fire for not deleting groups or pages that are pro-rape or display pro-rape messages. It took them months to take down pages or groups such as "You know she's playing hard to get when your chasing her down an alleyway", "I know a silly little b--ch that needs a good slap", "define statutory" or "Kicking sluts in the vagina because its [sic] funny watching your foot disappear"on the grounds that it was meant to be a joke.

Nirvana's "Nevermind"cover violates the terms of use but, disturbingly enough, a video of a child being abused by a grown man stayed on Facebook long enough to become viral  before it was taken down.

Even pages that promote anti-Semitism by denying the Holocaust happened get to stay.

 Pages that promote violence against women –  by posting pictures of specific women and photoshopping bruises and a bloody nose on them, with captions that suggest that women need to be beaten on the regular – are allowed to stay up and running, until several people report it and the story is finally picked up by international media outlets, Facebook issued an apology (although not to the woman).

If hitting the news doesn't warrant the deletion of the offensive pages, change.org petitions need to be signed by thousands or, if that doesn't get the message across, the Advertising companies need to tell Facebook to pull their ads from these sites because they don't want their products affiliated with the page's message. 

However, Facebook has taken down pictures of pregnant women, pictures from "Uprising of Women in the Arab World" of unveiled Arab women  as well as a picture of instructions for a home abortion (whether safe & legal or not, I'm not sure...I don't know why you would go to the pharmacist and ask for Cytotec for your grandmother's arthritis. If the pharmacist needs to ask what you need them for, are you being careful enough? And as for the legality...is this what a consequence of criminalizing abortion looks like?). Also not okay to post are pictures of breast cancer survivors who've undergone a double mastectomy, of women breastfeeding  or of elbows that look like a boobs.Even drawings of female nudity are removed. Men kissing are not allowed but Jenna Jameson and  Suicide Girls are. 

Jeebus, that's a lot of stuff.

But is it fair to say that Facebook is hypocritical and oppressive on purpose or should we assume that they are just misguided and ignorant, playing by the rules that the patriarchy has set up over a long period of time?In which case, does pointing out sexist they are work? There are initiatives (as well as twitter hashtags) out there such as everyday sexism that don't explicitly educate about sexism but narrate situations that are sexist. But like Lindy West puts in her article about the misogyny Seth MacFarlane demonstrated in the Oscars as humour, "you might as well write me a note on a banana peel demanding that I prove to you that bananas exist". Why do we need to constantly prove that sexism is a thing? And why do women (and men) that draw attention to the social injustice we live in get threatening emails and calls, and their personal information (and of their families and friends) publicized for the sole purpose of terrorizing them?
What are we so afraid of? The wrath of these cowardly people? The anonymous bullies? 

Well, I'm not afraid. Because I know the other side is better than this. I know that equality is attainable and that with it we can eradicate this violence against our bodies and our voice.
We should never stop using our voice. You saw what happened to Ariel in The Little Mermaid, right?

That's how the getcha - forget your voice, gurl, objectify yourself. for empowerment!

 Guys, this is the second to last post. I hope you enjoy it, we're almost done.

(As my procrastination tool this semester, I'm re-watching Community - Nick is a total enabler)

Porn & Sexuality

I think it's fair to say that porn is a representation of how we are socialized.
Or even better, it's an exaggeration of how our arousal has been socialized.


We are very interested in sex and sex drive and, more specifically, how to turn our partners on. There are many articles online about this, all heavily based off gender norms and relying on the thought that women and men are intrinsically different.

Men are taught to become aroused with visual cues. Porn banks on this socialization: we have POV shots, the money shot, exaggerated expressions (accompanied by equally exaggerated noises).

Women, on the other hand, are taught to...not be aroused. Women are generally not allowed a sexuality, because women are tools for reproduction purposes.
Okay - maybe that's a little inflammatory.

Am I really off base saying that? Is women's arousal really connected to how desirable we are/feel?
Does that mean that the majority of women depend on men EVEN at our most intimate?

What's the one of the techniques that stereotypical bros use to play a girl? Isn't it to make her feel like he wants to settle down, have a meaningful relationship, marry, and have kids? This stereotype touches on many different aspects of the hookup culture AND patriarchy AND has different levels of fucked upness.

BUT. It sort of follows this idea that there is no porn for women because women are taught to not be sexual and, at the same time, be aroused by naked women. So unless the whole system that defines who we are sexually and how we express our sexuality changes, I don't see a lot of good quality porn popping up.

Why do we need porn anyway? Isn't that just another expression of patriarchy?
Like infomercials for sex, they sell us normalcy: how we are supposed to behave , what is acceptable and what is a fetish, who belongs with who...
Why do we, as a whole, buy into that?

WHAT IS WRONG WITH US?!?!?!

Hairy Situations

On spring break, Nick and I went to LA first and then to Miami. We were planning on hanging out in our respective bikinis A LOT.

Since both places are pretty plastic and image driven, I decided to get a bikini wax. Definitely not on my "Top 10 Most Enjoyable Experiences Ever".

ouch.

At the spa, I started thinking about where this aversion to hairy ladies comes from.
Then I talked about it with Brittany, my very bubbly and nice and gentle aesthetician (I'm not sure that that's her official title).
I was saying something along the lines of: isn't it just another way of getting women to feel bad about themselves and spend money on themselves, for a false sense of belonging?

  

She started commenting on it and interrupted herself to tell me that she was a perfectionist and that the wax might be a little hot and that I should just try to relax.

right.

She also told me to NEVER get anything waxed on my period or right before my period because it would hurt like nothing has hurt before.

duly noted.

After a pretty painful (and unnecessary?) experience, where a complete stranger is plucking away at my crotch after applying hot wax and literally ripping it off, REPEATEDLY, I thought that maybe this whole hairlessness for women is kind of like the success by zeroes in a man's bank account.

Sometimes it's hard to realise that this drive to make money isn't completely related to being successful just like not having an ounce of hair on your legs, doesn't equate being beautiful.

We don't really realise how pervasive these thoughts are, though.

I know that this obsession with hairless women is not a new phenomenon. I think I remember hearing that in Ancient Greece, Rome & Egypt they had different ways of getting rid of unwanted hairs, they tweezed their eyebrows and other facial hair. If we are to judge paintings from the Renaissance, women are not very bushy, and there are even recipes on how to get rid of body hair. Yuck.

Do we do this as a way to separate the two sexes even more? Since men are naturally hairier, do we shave, pluck, tweeze, bleach, dye and wax ours to draw a thicker line between us?

The comic relief

I don't know what you guys do when it's deadline season, but I procrastinate like it's nobody's business. Like, a lot.
No lie, I usually start watching a new show when finals are approaching (or better yet, during finals). If I'm in a particularly self-destructive mood, I'll pick a show with like, 10 seasons.

You go, Glen Coco.

Otherwise, I'll resort to online comics. And let me tell you, I read A LOT of comics online.I'm currently reading about 30, without counting the ones that are done (which I tend to re-read during times I can't really afford to procrastinate).

Recently, I found 4 comics to read (GUYS, FINALS ARE NEXT MONTH), and they've made me think about the portrayal of women in comics.

 For example, here is a re-imagining of Wonder Woman, by Kate Beaton from Hark! A Vagrant (go read it, she is awesome).

Although there is a feminist critique aspect to it, the comic doesn't really stray from the normative: Wonder Woman is a bitter burnout.

This comic is definitely better than others.  Zits and Luann both star teenagers. The protagonist of Zits is Jeremy Duncan. He is in High School, has a band, loves pizza and his old VW van. Luann´s protagonist is a teenage girl who is also in High School. Luann has two best friends, one who is ambitious, earth conscious and a feminist and another one (her best friend) who wears glasses, has curly hair and is "smart", a pessimist and sarcastic.

Zits by Jerry Scott and Jim Borgman

Why is it that women have a "girl filter" that turns lame half truths into the news of the century? Pink flourishes? Girls only? She was so excited she dropped her notebooks and everything! What kind of syndicated crap is this?

Aren't mums the worst? Especially when they are cooking you dinner.

Luann by Greg Evans

I find very problematic that 1) the only two options are education and job or married; 2) that education doesn't equal happiness - are we saying that the only way we can be happy is by marrying right out of High School? and 3) why don't the parents take any sort of issue with their 16 year old saying that marriage is an option in a year and a half? why don't they correct her and explain that those are really not the only future prospects?

You should know better than talk to women while they do their house work, amirite? Not only will they make you help out with the chores in your own home, you'll be wrong all the time.

Ugh. How depressing. Think about the message this is sending to the audience. Comics like these, syndicated and available on print on the Sunday paper, cultivate a distorted view of normalcy. I really don't remember ever being that vapid.
 
If you want to read anything that stars female teenagers in high school in constant scenarios where semi-nudity is expected (like, say, walking down the street), you should check out the projects Gisèle Lagacé is working on - specifically anything that came out of Eerie Cuties (Dangerously Chloe and Magick Chicks). For her portrayal of LGBT sexuality issues, check out Ménage à 3 or its spinoff Sticky Dilly Buns (NSFW).

It's tough out there.

There are pretty nonsensical comics going around. Like, all-women cast, crazy adventures and whatnot but every other page has a detailed drawing of female genitalia. 
But there are also pretty rocking comics. Like Blip (the author was having some problems with the site and then stopped updating in 2011. Sadface.), or Girls With Slingshots or Lackadaisy or Namesake or Bite Me! (vampires AND the French Revolution? What's there not to love?!).

There are many more. Like, tons. So I vote we support these poor struggling artists that support egalitarian narratives by reading their comics and maybe even buying the hard copies sometimes.

Are there any comics out there that you've found worth a look?